Inadequate.

I never in my wildest dreams thought I would get the opportunity to travel to Australia.  Never.

I knew serving a mission was a possibility for me. . .

But both at the same time?? It's like every missionary's dream!

I feel so lucky.

I leave 3 weeks from this very day.  I can't believe how the time has flown by!  Even though I am immensely excited, there is no doubt that I am scared. I know that I shouldn't let myself be filled with fear, because God is going to be on my side, but sometimes it's hard to not allow myself to feel that emotion.

In just 21 days, I will be taking upon me the name of Christ and representing Him and His church as a missionary.  At this point in time, I am overcome with so many different emotions, some even contradicting each other.  But mostly I have been feeling extremely inadequate.

Inadequate how? Well, just wondering if my testimony is strong enough, if I'm strong enough.  If I know the gospel well enough to teach, and those types of things.  But I am coming to realize that: it's okay.  It's okay for me to feel inadequate.  I should feel inadequate because ya know what? I AM.  We are all inadequate.  We become adequate through and with God!

I read in Alma chapter 26 recently....and it's a chapter I have come to love.  It has given me a lot of comfort.  In verse 7 it basically says that the missionaries are in the hands of the Lord; the Lord watches and protects His missionaries!

The verse I want to talk about though, is verse 12.  It states: "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever."

I love how it says we are nothing, but it goes on to say that in God's strength, we can do ALL things.

So, I guess I'll allow myself to continue to feel inadequate, and I will just have the faith that by allowing the Spirit to be my guide and letting God stand by me, I will be able to accomplish anything.  I won't be inadequate.