Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Day 99--We Can't Live on Borrowed Light

Day 99:
-Read: Moroni 10
-Mark: Moroni 10:3-5, 32

"To meet the difficulties that are coming, it will be necessary for you to have a knowledge of the truth of this work for yourselves. The difficulties will be of such a character that the man or woman who does not possess this personal knowledge or witness will fall. If you have not got the testimony, live right and call upon the Lord and cease not till you obtain it....The time will come when no man nor woman will be able to endure on borrowed light. Each will have to be guided by the light within himself. If you do not have it, how can you stand?"
~Elder Heber C. Kimball

Wow. What a powerful thought this is! We can't live off of borrowed light. We just can't. We need a testimony for ourselves, especially through these upcoming hard times. No one can change our attitude for us. We need God in our life to help us to make those changes and to gain our own testimony. Having a testimony is a wonderful thing that can help protect us when needed. It's like our foundation.....based on your testimony, and what you really believe, your actions will be determined by all of that. The more of your own testimony you have, the easier it will be to say no to things that are wrong. God will be on your side. You can win the fight against Satan.

Now what are you going to do now that you're done? Keep reading and building that testimony for yourself! Ask God if it be true!

One more post tomorrow and then we're done! Can you believe it!?

Monday, January 30, 2012

Day 98--Do What is Right Let the Consequence Follow

Day 98:
-Read: Moroni 8-9
-Mark: Moroni 9:20

“Our capacity to feel controls our behavior in many ways, and by inaction when our feelings prompt us to do good, we deaden that capacity to feel…A sex saturated society cannot feel the needs of its suffering members because instead of developing the love that looks outward, it turns man selfishly inward…we have ears, but cannot hear, not only the promptings of God but also the pleas of men…We shut out people, nature, and God.”
~ Elder Neal A. Maxwell


Something to think about: How do you respond to promptings or feelings that you should
do something?

With this question, I feel like if there's ever a question....go with your gut feelings. If you feel like you've done something wrong, but you aren't 100% sure or if friends are telling you that you're fine; better safe than sorry, right? It just seems logical to me! When your eternity is on the line, I would think you would want to just go with those promptings!

If you have a feeling you should take cookies to someone, or just drop by and check up on someone but you don't exactly know why...do it anyway! And even if nothing huge comes out of it, you still did something nice for someone, and God appreciates when we take care of His children!

We need to strive to be the best we can and stay close to God and His spirit so we can better be instruments in His hands and be able to be prompted.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Day 97

Day 97:
-Read: Moroni 5-7
-Mark: Moroni 7:47-48

“The phrase ‘love of Christ’ might have meaning in three dimensions: (1) love for Christ; (2) love from Christ; (3) love like Christ….People who have charity have a love for the Savior, have received of his love, and love others as he does.”
~ Elder C. Max Caldwell

Something to think about: How often do you pray for charity? Why do you think you would
be a better person if you were filled with charity?

We are told that charity is the pure love of Christ....loving everyone regardless of their situations. It's a hard thing to do, for sure! But worth it in the end. Let us Love Christ. Let us allow Him to Love us. And let us Love like He does.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Day 96--Stronger than the Devil

Day 96:
-Read: Ether 14-Moroni 4
-Mark: Ether 15:19

"All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him. The moment we revolt at anything which comes from God, the devil takes power."
~Joseph Smith

Something to think about: What things help you most to prevent Satan from having any power over you?


I've noticed that when I am not as close to the Spirit as I should be (the days I forget to pray in the morning, or when I used to not read my scriptures as regularly, or if I allow myself to get upset) Satan has more power over me. When we aren't in tune with how God would want us to be, Satan can creep into our minds and heart and take over the driver's seat.


God has provided us with something wonderful: our body. Something Satan does not have. He also gave us this glorious gospel and the freedom to choose. We need to use our agency to do what is right, because if we do that with God on our side, Satan has no power over us. None. That's a cool thought, right?! WE ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN THE DEVIL HIMSELF!!!


Friday, January 27, 2012

Day 95--Microbiology Class.....

Day 95:
-Read: Ether 11-13
-Mark: Ether 12:27

“The Savior isn’t our last chance; He is our only chance. Our
only chance to overcome self-doubt and catch a vision of who
we may become. Our only chance to repent and have our sins
washed clean. Our only chance to purify our weaknesses, and
avoid the adversary. Our only chance to obtain hearts, subdue our
redemption and exaltation. Our only chance to find peace and
happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come.”
~ Sister Sheri L. Dew

Something to think about: What weaknesses has the Lord helped you to overcome? What
weaknesses do you still have that you want to be strengths?


I'm currently sitting in my Microbiology class. Oh how I don't love this class! My teacher is so boring.....and he's old (but that's beside the point)! After saying something he sits and pauses for like a minute before he thinks of the next thing he is going to say!......this.........class...........
moves........so.......slloooowwwwllyyyy!!

Anyway, I loved this quote that Sheri Dew had to share. It's a beautiful thought! The Savior is our ONLY chance. Our only chance to go back to our Heavenly Father one day. We simply can't do it without him!

Sometimes we let pride get in the way, and we want to feel like we can do it on our own. (Face the facts: WE CAN'T.) We won't take His hand and let Him lead us....Just like a young child who is going to cross the street; their parents take their hand and lead them safely across. This is what God wants to do with each and every one of us if we will let Him; He wants to get us over to safety....back in the arms of His love.

In order to reach out and take His hand, we must let go of 2 things:
1- Our will. Because God will never take away our agency, we must choose to subject our will to Him.
2- Our prideful, favorite sins, aka the things we want more than the Spirit. The things we love that hurt the Spirit.

Ezra Taft Benson said that "Pride is characterized by: 'What do I want out of life?' rather than by, 'What would God have me do with my life?'" Stay close to the spirit so that you will be able to discern what plan is best for you.

I want to leave you with one last thought.
"God cannot pour His riches into hands already full."
So let go of your pride, and turn your will over to Him so that you will have the strength to carry His riches and blessings with you.



Thursday, January 26, 2012

94th Day....The Blessings Will Come

Day 94:
-Read: Ether 8-10
-Mark: Ether 8:26

"The Book of Mormon is Christ-centered. That is its essential feature, and that is the reason we are commanded to study it continually. We must use the Book of Mormon to bring us to Christ.”
~ Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Something to think about: How is your study of the Book of Mormon bringing you closer to
the Savior?

Ouch...it hurts to type!!! Tonight I was havin' a little too much fun playing my guitar and my fingers look like they'll be blistering! Oops.

Anyway, I was thinking about the question that was asked in the reading today, and I have actually noticed a lot! By reading and studying the Book of Mormon, I have been happier and less stressed about where my life is going (compared to where I would have been 5-6 months ago). By showing the Lord I am committed, He is blessing me. In some ways I don't even know about too, I'm sure. Sometimes it's hard to make time for reading it feels, but I always feel better after :)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Day 93 -- The Spirit of Music

Day 93:
-Read: Ether 4-7
-Mark: Ether 6:9

"Sometimes.....we get nearer to the Lord through music than perhaps through any other thing than prayer."
~President J. Reuben Clark, Jr.

"Music is one of the most forceful instruments for governing the mind and spirit of man."
~President Boyd K. Packer

Something to think about: In what ways do you use music in your personal worship? How do you use music to help others feel the Lord's influence?

For those of you that know me and my family very well, you know that music is a big thing in our home and in our lives. I grew up listening to it! My dad is a musician so ever since I can remember he's composed songs, songs for me even! (Jonah and I have our very own lullabies that our parents wrote together for us.)

I really believe that music can bring the spirit in a way that nothing else can. Beautiful music has a way of touching my heart and bringing peace and comfort when I need it. I don't necessarily know why this is, but I am grateful it does.

I'm so grateful for my musically-talented family and their willingness to share their talents with others. I'm grateful my parents raised me with music in the home so I could develop the love I now have for it. It's great!

Here is a normal Sunday at the Hadlock home: game of Ticket to Ride in progress, impromptu music being played by the Hadlock men....I just had to video to give you a little taste of my world (and they didn't even know I was recording! haha)
~~Oh, my dad started playing this song cuz my mama was starting to get impatient waiting to play the game!~~

video

And lastly, on a more serious note, here is some of my dad's music that the man who does his website put together in a video:



Make good music a part of your life!!!! :)


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Day 92 ~

Day 92:
GET BACK ON SCHEDULE!
-Use your reading chart to find the chapters you still
need to read to be caught up through: Ether 3
or
If you’re up to date with your reading,
take time to study: 3 Nephi 27

Something to think about: What did the Lord teach His disciples about the name of His
church? What is the gospel, or good news, that He has given us.
What things did Jesus say we must do in His church?


Monday, January 23, 2012

Day 91!


Day 91:
-Read: Ether 1-3
-Mark: Ether 3:4-5

"What ever Jesus lays his hand upon lives. If Jesus lays his hands upon a marriage, it lives. If he is allowed to lay his hands upon the family, it lives."
~President Howard W. Hunter

Something to think about: Look at the symbolism in the account of the Savior touching the stones that lit the way for the Jaredites. What does the account teach you about the touch of the Savior's hand? How have you felt the Lord's hand in your life?

I love this story, personally. It makes me wonder were I in this situation, would I have this same faith and courage that the brother of Jared has? Something to think about, eh!? But this is proof that with God, nothing is impossible. He made STONES have LIGHT! Now that's somethin! Seriously.

I love the quote from today. If Jesus lays his hands upon a marriage, it lives. If he is allowed to lay his hands upon the family, it lives. Such a beautiful thought. We need God in our lives. Without him we will be a mess, I've seen that firsthand. This gospel has all the answers. We just need to go forward with faith each day that this is the case and that God really does hear us.

Let us work on turning our lives over to God, after we do our part, and have the faith that He is capable of doing the rest when we honestly cannot. In Psalms 55:22 it reads, "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." And of course, the famous scripture, Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Sunday, January 22, 2012

100-10 = 90!

Day 90:
-Read: Mormon 8-9
-Mark: Mormon 9:11-12, 21

"The Lord will never forsake or abandon anyone. You may abandon him, but he will never abandon you. You never need to feel that you are alone."
~Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

Something to think about: Mormon's ministry ends in these chapters. Pay attention to Moroni's warnings for our day. Righteousness sometimes seems to bring loneliness? Why are we not really as alone as we sometimes feel? In chapter 9, look for reasons why you can rely on the Lord.


I found this interesting that today's topic was what it was. I had kind of a rough, emotional weekend. I was feeling alone and homesick. I know I am never really alone, but it's hard not to conform to those feelings at times....it's what Satan wants us to do, and when we are feeling weak--he's the strongest. But what I realize is, the power of God is so much greater, and if we turn to Him in those moments of weakness: He can make them strengths! (See Ether 12:27).

Don't allow Satan to seep into your thoughts and destroy your self worth. You are a child of God and He loves you. He will never leave you alone, just like a good earthly father won't leave you alone. Just put your trust in Him and allow Him to do the rest (of what you can't do.)


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Day 89 ~ The Light of Christ in Me

Day 89:
-Read: Mormon 5-7
-Mark: Mormon 6:16-20

"The tragedy of the Book of Mormon is not what became of the Nephites but what the Nephites became."
~Hugh Nibley

Something to think about: What led to the fall of the Nephites? What things do you do each day to stay strong?


It's not just about reading the Book of Mormon. It's about the person you become while reading it. I know for me, by doing this challenge, there has been a new light and spirit about me. I can honestly say I am happier. I don't stress out as much like I used to.

When I was home over Christmas break, I saw a friend I haven't seen for a while. He said there was something that seemed different about me, that I just had "a glow about [me]." That was really neat to hear, especially coming from him. He said my eyes just were so bright and happy.

Now, I wouldn't classify myself as an unhappy person before, but I wasn't up to where I should be with my daily prayers and scripture study--so this definitely makes a difference.

I love this gospel with all of my heart. I'm so grateful for the light of Christ in my life, and for good examples around me, keeping me motivated and wanting to be better.

Friday, January 20, 2012

88.

Day 88:
-Read: Mormon 2-4
-Mark: Mormon 2:12-13

"Full repentance involves a 180-degree turn, and without looking back! ....In ritual regret, we mourn our mistakes but without mending them. There can be no real repentance without personal suffering and the passage of sufficient time for the needed cleansing and turning.... Chastening is often needed until the turning is really under way!"
~Elder Neal A. Maxwell

Something to think about: We can be sorry for the wrong reasons (like when we're caught or punished). What can help you be sorry for the right reason?

Today's topic is very similar to one I already wrote about. If you want to know what I said on it, read Day 37's post. Or 71 is another great one! To completely repent, we must feel Godly sorrow and feel bad for what we've done.....we need to experience a change of heart, otherwise repentance cannot correctly take place.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Day 87

Day 87:
-Read: 3 Nephi 29 - Mormon 1
-Mark: Mormon 1:13-15

"[President Brigham Young said] 'I want you to teach the people -- and I want you to follow this counsel yourself -- that they must labor and so live as to obtain the Holy Spirit, for without this you cannot build up the kingdom; without the spirit of God you are in danger of walking in the dark."
~President Wilford Woodruff

Something to think about: As a young man Mormon enjoyed the blessings of the Lord despite living in a wicked society. How can you keep the Spirit with you regardless of conditions in the world?

I'm so sorry I don't have anything to say to go along with this. If I had the time to really write, I totally would! I read this morning but had to shoot off to class and have been busy and gone all day. As of now I have another study group to head to....but here's today's reading! Just always try to have a good mindset about you is what I would say. Even though things in this world are dark and unhappy, if you do what is right and have the Spirit with you: YOU WILL BE HAPPY!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Day 86

Day 86:
-Read: 3 Nephi 27-28
-Mark: 3 Nephi 27:19-20

"The most important of all the commandments of God is the one that you're having the most difficulty keeping....Today is the day for you to work....until you've been able to conquer that weakness. Then you start on the next one that's most difficult for you to keep. That's the way to sanctify yourselves by keeping the commandments of God."
~President Harold B. Lee

Something to think about: What commandments are most difficult for you? What are you doing to be more obedient? Who can help you?

I really like the quote today from President Lee. It's a really neat way to look at things. There is no commandment that's more important than the other; unless it's one you struggle with.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Day 85 ~ My Own Cinderella Story

Day 85:
GET BACK ON SCHEDULE
Use your reading chart to get yourself caught up through
3 Nephi 26

or

If you're up-to-date, take time to study 3 Nephi 11

Something to think about: What did the Nephites do to finally understand the voice they heard? What were the first things the Savior taught? What did Jesus say was his doctrine?

~Today's post is pretty long, but I read a great talk today. It was given in 1982, but some things seriously never change....

I think this is a good message for everyone. Break ups are not easy. They're no fun. But honestly, it's the best thing that can happen if the couple isn't ready for marriage. Just think: the relationship either has to progress and lead to marriage, or it has to not work out and end. That's it. There are no other options (unless you decide to go the "friends with benefits route, which frankly, should not be an option.)

Relationships should not be taken lightly. They're especially hard 'cuz men and women think so differently at times, so sometimes there will be miscommunications. When two people really love each other, they should try to understand one another and not do things that might confuse or hurt the other. Just be considerate, and more importantly: be honest.

In the end, break ups should be a learning process; you can take so much from breaking up that can help your next relationship to be even better/stronger. I know I personally have a lot to work on. I need to not be better at not allowing breaking up, or just bad dating experiences in general, to control my emotions and the way I feel about myself. I'm a child of God. I am His daughter. He loves me and created me to be my own beautiful, unique self. One day I will be swept off my feet, and my Prince will bring me the glass slipper that fits. For now, I will just keep trying on different pairs of shoes until I find the one that fits best.
Before I share the full talk, I just wanted to share a quick blurb that my mom was asked to share on the review of a book. It was so sweet :)

"Sun, 15 January 2012 12:39:28 +0000
This isn't about the book or about my own bridal experience. It's about the dream I have for my only daughter.

Kelsie is 19 and a college student. She has always been a romantic, day-dreaming kind of girl, looking forward to the day when the man of her dreams asks her to marry him and she can go with me (her mom) to pick out her dress. As a little girl, she loved to dress up and her favorite dresses were the "spinners" - the ones with full skirts that would spin out when she turned around and around.

I have my own daydreams for her. Yes, I imagine going to the dress shop to watch her try on dresses and finding "the one." The one she'll light up the room in. The one that will make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. I know my eyes will be full of tears as I watch the joy cover her face.

But. My dream for her is so much more than a dress. My dream for her will bring that joy and that sense of being the most beautiful girl in the world regardless of what she's wearing. My dream comes in the form of a young man who would be worthy of her. Worthy of her purity and goodness, her kind heart and tenderness. Worthy of her trust and loyalty. A young man who will adore her, respect her and treat her like his princess. Not just for a little while until the honeymoon is over; but for eternity - through all the trials of life and the ebb and flow of emotions. Who will still adore her and be true to her when the intensity of being in love has past, as the years pass. Someone who will be by her side to raise their children and who will look over at her in their old age and still believe her to be the most beautiful girl in the world, his forever bride.

Because I know that if she finds someone like that, no matter what she's wearing that day - whether home made or the most expensive dress in the store - she will feel, and look, absolutely radiant.

Oh, and I can't wait!"


The title of the talk is "Breaking Up without Going to Pieces: When Dating Doesn't End in Marriage."


It feels good to invest in a relationship. To care. To want to share. To want to give.

If your dating relationship feels joyous and healthy, if both of you feel the Lord’s approval of your decision to marry, then the relationship “works,” and you marry. If it doesn’t work, you don’t marry. There is no third alternative.

However, many people assume there is a third alternative and try to keep the relationship alive when all signs of vitality have ceased. Both in my church callings and in my profession as a clinical psychologist, I have worked with people who cannot accept breaking up as a healthy part of the selection process of courtship. Instead, they see it as a time to punish themselves, to feel hurt, or even to try to hurt others.

The Lord has given us some important guidelines for relationships—and they apply to all relationships, including dating. We’re counseled to treat all people charitably and kindly, to forgive, and to love not only God and others but also ourselves.

By developing and exercising compassion, a person can—without unpleasantness or emotional devastation—end a dating relationship that needs to end, and turn the experience into an important step toward developing another relationship that does result in marriage.

Sometimes it’s better for two people not to marry each other. They would both be happier married to other people—it’s that simple. Perhaps they’ve formed a relationship for the wrong reasons. But even when the motives are right, a relationship still might not have that “spark” that impels bothtoward marriage. In such cases, breaking up is often the kindest alternative.

Breaking up may sometimes be a difficult and grieving process, but it doesn’t have to be dreadful. People can break up a dating relationship without going to pieces.

The biggest factor in determining the outcome of a relationship is following the inspiration of the Lord. If your association seems to pull you away from God, away from righteousness, away from prayer and scriptures, you need to evaluate its influence. Sometimes, too, people will want so badly for a courtship to work that they can’t hear the Lord’s messages because of their own desires.

Also important for a relationship to develop into a healthy marriage are communication and genuine interest in each other. One young man tried hard to fall in love with a young woman who had served in his mission. They both loved their mission experiences and the people of the country, but there was no “magic” in their relationship. They could talk about the Church and their missions, but not deeply about themselves.

The fellow hated to give up what he thought was a storybook situation, but he finally realized that the relationship wasn’t sufficient for marriage. He broke up with her and later met a young woman in a college class. They found they could talk for hours and not lose interest in each other. She was the one he married.

Probably one of the most ominous indications of a troubled dating relationship is that you begin to feel obligated. Of course, even excellent relationships are not free of obligation. But feeling obligated, feeling bound, is more than making the adjustments needed for a relationship to work. Things you should freely want to do for the other person become tasks you do only because you are expected to do them. You begin to resent the other person, and you want to put distance between you. The relationship is no longer enjoyable and comfortable. It’s being Serious, with a capital letter. Conversations are “heavy,” with much frustration, anxious searching of your feelings, and perhaps a series of phone calls that start out, “I have to talk to you!”

And then you begin to test each other. A fellow might say to himself, “If she really likes me, she’ll be glad to go with me, even if I’m calling half an hour before the party.” Or, “If he loves me, he will do what I want.” So you start trying to manipulate each other; and in your insecurity, you try to control each other’s responses. “Do you enjoy being with me as much as I enjoy being with you?”

Another symptom of deep problems in a dating relationship is an inability to communicate on the same level. Sometimes you’ll feel you have a great deal to say but can’t talk because you feel the other person won’t understand, or will misunderstand. You become afraid to say what you honestly feel and think. Similarly, a couple’s physical attraction to one another may mask an inability to communicate. Some couples may know how to kiss but don’t know how to talk to each other. For them, the physical aspect of their relationship is something they fall back on to avoid developing caring and communication.

Some people also use physical affection as a measure of the progress of the relationship—and that’s a false and irrelevant measurement. A girl might think, “If he holds my hand, it means he likes me.” Or, “If he puts his arm around me, that means he likes me more.” But those gestures might mean nothing of the sort. In fact, a too-quick development of such gestures may lead to inappropriate expressions of affection and thus damage a healthy relationship. If a courtship is based largely on physical affection, you probably need to evaluate its stability.

Still another indication of a troubled relationship is a feeling of emotional starvation, of being emotionally drained. This could be because of a lack of appropriate affection in the relationship, or perhaps because one person is “using” another in an unhealthy way.

One person in a dating relationship might “use” another in the way fellows used an extremely attractive young woman who was in my campus ward when I was a bishop. On dates she felt more like a boutonniere than a person—she was someone men “wore” but not someone they wanted to understand and cherish. Another young woman in the ward found that after she was chosen as homecoming queen, the quality of her dates declined dramatically; men were no longer interested in her as a person but only as a status symbol. In both cases, these young women found it difficult to establish genuine, deep relationships.

Sometimes a person enters a relationship with the mistaken notion (I call it a “rescue complex”) that he or she can “save” the other. An extreme example of this was one woman who married a man because he threatened suicide if she didn’t marry him. That marriage ended in divorce.

A more common situation might be for a man to see a woman who’s been jilted and to say to himself, “She’s so sweet and wounded, and I’m going to heal her broken heart.” Or a woman with strong, warm mothering instincts may meet a misfit fellow who’s in the middle of an identity crisis and vow to save him from himself. In the process, she deliberately blinds herself to all of the differences in their values.

What’s wrong with relationships like these is that they put unfair responsibility and demands on one person to make the relationship work. They don’t allow for a healthy role-shifting in which both partners can look to each other for support and strength.

Another wrong reason for developing or perpetuating a relationship is to avoid causing problems in a family or social network. Sometimes a dating couple builds up such a comfortable social network that their relationship is the worst part of what otherwise is a very pleasant situation. In this case they need to recognize that even if their parents or friends hope they’ll marry, it’s the couple’s relationship that ultimately matters.

Some couples may argue that they received a spiritual confirmation of their relationship. Why, then, didn’t it work out? It’s possible, of course, that you wanted so badly for it to work out that you misinterpreted spiritual feelings and, in essence, put words in God’s mouth. But there’s another possibility: People change. Though the dating relationship was right at one time, it isn’t anymore. The spiritual confirmation could have been an assurance of the relationship’s capacity, its possibility, its potential. But it wasn’t a guarantee of ultimate fruit.

Once you’ve decided the relationship is not going to work out, how do you kindly let someone know you’re serious about ending the dating relationship?

The most important thing is to communicate, compassionately, clearly what you mean. Often one person will want the other to get the message without its being clearly stated, which may mean that the person who wants to break up isn’t facing his real feelings. When you’ve cared deeply enough to date seriously, of course you shouldn’t want to hurt the other person. But that’s no reason for giving an unclear or indefinite message. Otherwise, the other person may accept only a change in the relationship, still hoping for eventual marriage.

It isn’t compassionate to try to sever a relationship slowly if you’ve already made up your mind. The other person won’t gradually get the message by your disinterest. If you’re trying to break up slowly, it’s possible that you’re mistaking your desire to not hurt the person for an excuse to be dishonest about your own feelings.

Since relationships can’t change from romance to friendship in a day or a week, it may be unrealistic and even hurtful for the two of you to spend much time together once the decision has been made. The person who initiated the break-up may be thinking, “Isn’t it civilized and nice that we can be friends?” But the other will be secretly hoping for the friendship to develop back into a romance. And if the romance can never be revived, feelings will be hurt even more deeply.

Almost always, one of you will be hurt more than the other when the relationship breaks up. If you’ve been hurt in a relationship, you may think it’s understandable that you defend yourself by denigrating or criticizing the other person. Actually, it’s a way of running from reality, and it’s a childish and defensive gesture. Whatever has not worked out, the Lord requires that we forgive all people—and this commandment is as true in a dating relationship as in any other. Bitterness is never the right solution.

People can tell you plenty of superficial ways to get over a broken relationship. They might suggest taking up golf, getting yourself back into social circulation, or looking critically at the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. But the grief of an ended relationship can be as real and as intense as grief following the death of someone you’ve loved. So it’s important to let yourself work through the grief process.

You may have to be willing to mourn, to let yourself down into your feelings. Grieving can be a way of accepting the end, of letting the separation come. But you have to realize that those feelings will pass, and that no matter how much it hurts, you’re going to live through it. Racing out and involving yourself frenetically in other activities won’t block it out of your mind.

At the same time, you mustn’t perform an endless postmortem on the relationship. By continually asking yourself what you did wrong or what would have happened if you’d done things differently, you keep your wounded feelings alive. Similarly, indulging yourself in what I call a “pity party” is a cruel way of hurting yourself. It won’t help to deliberately humiliate yourself with a list of your failures, as though reliving your real or imagined failures can keep them from happening again.

One college student worked through the grief of a broken relationship by listening to music in the living room of his apartment after his roommates went to bed. He listened to the same album over and over, every night, and allowed himself to mourn.

Finally one day he looked in the mirror and said to himself, “It’s dead. It’s over. It’s never going to work. And I’m not going to try to make it work anymore. I’m not going to go on believing it’s going to work. It is done. I still have feelings for her, but I am going to go on living.”

For about three days he had to repeat that to himself. He’d be driving in his car and start to mourn again, and he’d look in his rear-view mirror and say, “It’s over.” And for him, it was over.

Remember, the Lord can give you solace in your pain. His peace can come through your family, your friends, service, prayer, fasting, scripture reading. You may find considerable relief and insight from writing in your personal journal about the relationship. And perhaps a loving Church leader can help you work through this difficult time.

It’s important that you not try to build happiness on the pretended misery of the person you have left behind. Some people carry this to a tragic extreme by not only dating but actually marrying someone else in an effort to make a former boyfriend or girlfriend miserable or jealous. They’re thinking, “I’ll show her,” or “I’ll show him,” without giving serious thought to the feelings of the person they’re actually marrying.

This was the case with a young private I knew in the Army. He had fallen in love with a girl, but her father wouldn’t let her marry him, and she wouldn’t run away with him to get married. So the fellow married another girl—one he didn’t love and wasn’t happy with. Joining the Army and seeking assignments where he couldn’t take a family with him were his ways of running away from the rebound marriage.

While you may learn valuable lessons from failed relationships, it’s not necessary to impute further meaning to the break-up. That is, I don’t believe the Lord intends you to be hurt again and again for the sake of “learning experiences.” I believe that He wants you to know the joy that comes from understanding, trusting, and loving someone in an honest, giving relationship. Hopefully, you can learn what is valuable from the experience without punishing yourself or seeing the experience as punishment.

While you might be able to look to past relationships for lessons about life, others, or yourself, don’t overlook the positive aspect of learning to better appreciate the depth and quality of a relationship you hope to make eternal. A man who thinks he wants a wife who plays the piano may find that while musical skills are important, what he really wants is a wife with whom he can share and enjoy life—someone he can talk to. Personal qualities are much more important than skills.

It helps not to look at dating as an end in itself. Some people become quite adept at dating skills, but have never considered and prepared themselves for the intimate and hopefully eternal commitments of marriage.

You may find that the best preparation you can make for marriage is to learn to love God and to love yourself. When you have a secure, spiritual knowledge of yourself as a child of God, you will find a sense of personal confidence and identity that makes a good relationship possible.

Like some people, you may find that you need to learn to be more honest and vulnerable in a relationship, and that you need to learn to believe in your own lovableness. As you develop those abilities, the love in your relationship can be sustained by a mutual conviction that you are loved by each other.

Then you can know the delight of being trusted with one another’s ideas and feelings. And you can know the joyous, awesome capacity to give that comes with loving.

Gawain Wells, a clinical psychologist and father of six children, teachesSunday School in his Provo, Utah, ward.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Day 84

Day 84:
-Read: 3 Nephi 22-26
-Mark: 3 Nephi 24:7-10

“I can’t list all the ways that blessings will come from obedience to this principle [of tithing], but I testify many will come in spiritual ways that go well beyond economics… I express my deepest gratitude for every blessing of the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially that greatest of all gifts, the exemplary life and atoning death of God’s Only Begotten Son. I know I can never repay heaven for any of this benevolence, but there are many ways I need to try to show my thankfulness. One of
those ways is in the payment of tithes and free will offerings.”
~ Elder Je rey R. Holland

Something to think about: What blessings do you receive from paying tithing?

I read this morning but didn't have time to blog as well, seeing as I was packing and getting ready to come back to Cedar~so I do apologize! But here it is now, just in time before the day is over.

Pay your tithing!! It's always worth it, and you'll be blessed :) Plus, it helps to build more beautiful temples and churches!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

day 80 and 3

Day 83:
-Read: 3 Nephi 20-21
-Mark: 3 Nephi 21:6-7

“Every person who embraces the gospel becomes of the house of Israel…The great majority of those who become members of the Church are literal descendants of Abraham through Ephraim, son of Joseph. Those who are not literal descendants of Abraham and Israel must become such, and when they are baptized and confirmed they are grafted into the tree and are entitled to all the rights and privileges as heirs.”
~ President Joseph Fielding Smith

Something to think about: What blessings are promised to you because you are of the house of Israel?

I'll admit; today was a hard one for me....I don't really know what to say on it. Do your Genealogy? ...Haha :) But I guess I need to learn more about what it all means.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

82.


Day 82:
-Read: 3 Nephi 17-19
-Mark: 3 Nephi 18:6-7, 11

"We are commanded to repent of our sins and to come to the Lord with a broken heart and a contrite spirit and partake of the sacrament in compliance with its covenants. When we renew our baptismal covenants in this way, the Lord renews the cleansing effect of our baptism. In this way we are made clean and can always have His Spirit to be with us. The importance of this is evident in the Lord's commandment that we partake of the sacrament each week."
~Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Something to think about: How can taking the sacrament each week help you to be just as clean as when you were baptized?

When we take the sacrament, just like Elder Oaks suggests, we are renewing our covenants with the Lord. In a way, it's a promise to do better. It's part of the repentance process. When you partake of the sacrament each week, it really is a blessing. Never take that gift for granted.

Friday, January 13, 2012

DAY 81

Day 81:
-Read: 3 Nephi 13-16
-Mark: 3 Nephi 15:21, 24

“Aren’t we rather prone to see the limitations and weaknesses of our neighbors? Yet that is contrary to the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ…If we have the spirit of fault finding…that never comes as the result of the companionship of the Spirit of our Heavenly Father and is always harmful.”
~ President George Albert Smith

Something to think about: The Savior gave teachings to the Nephites similar to the Sermon
on the Mount. He warned not to judge. What helps you to always look for the best in others and not be critical?

I liked how in the reading in chapter 13 it talks about not praying and doing the right things just to be recognized. That isn't why we should be going to church, paying tithing, reading scriptures, fasting, etc. It's not about who sees us, but rather the heart with which we do all of those things. It's about developing our relationship with God......praying "in secret" and just talking to Him, not making a show of it for everyone else to be like, "Oh! (S)he's such an awesome and spiritual person...." blah blah blah.

Anyway. Just keep in mind the intent you should be doing all of these things.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Day 80 ~ "I Love to See the Temple!"


Day 80:
-Read: 3 Nephi 11-12
-Mark: 3 Nephi 11:10-11

"Look to the temple of the Lord as the great symbol of your membership...As we attend the temple, we learn more richly and deeply the purpose of life and the significance of the atoning sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. Let us make the temple, with temple worship and temple covenants and temple marriage, our ultimate earthly goal and the supreme mortal experience."
~President Howard W. Hunter

Something to think about: The Nephites were gathered at the temple when the Savior visited them. How are you preparing to go to the temple?

The Prophet not only tells us of the importance of the temple, but the scriptures testify of it as well!! From today's reading, here is what I found:

In chapter 11, verse 1 it says, "And now it came to pass that there were a great multitude gathered together, of the people of Nephi, round about the temple.." This is a great example, showing that we need to attend the temple! They did it then....we need to do it now :)

In verse 2 it states, "And they were also conversing about this Jesus Christ, of whom the sigh had been given concerning his death." We need to talk about and learn of Christ, for he is the example we need to be following each day of our lives.

Then in verse 5 it says, "And again the third time they did hear the voice, and did open their ears to hear it; and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came." We need to seek/look for guidance and the answers to our questions and prayers. If we take the time to listen or "open [our] ears to hear it," the Lord will guide us and bless us.

The temple is a beautiful and wonderful place. I always feel my cup has been filled when I leave there. I don't see why it's so hard for us to want to attend and to find the time, especially when it's such a happy place, where we can feel the love of our Savior, and see His work progressing. That is something we should always want.

Make going to the temple a priority! Don't take your worthiness for granted. There are many people who are unable to attend (either they aren't worthy or don't know of the gospel) and that is just a disrespect to them in a way. But mostly, it's a disrespect to God. He has provided His house for us to go and come closer to Him. Also, we pay tithing which helps build them! They aren't being built just for looks. Go inside, feel for yourself... :)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Day 79 ~ U-Turn


Day 79:
-Read: 3 Nephi 9-10
-Mark: 3 Nephi 9:13-15

"An atonement was made. Ever and always it offers amnesty from transgression and from death if we will but repent. Repentance is the escape clause in it all. Repentance is the key with which we can unlock the prison from inside. We hold that key within our hands.....Humbly I lay claim upon the atonement of Christ. I find no shame in kneeling down in worship of our Father and His Son."
~President Boyd K. Packer

Something to think about: What can the Lord do for you when you repent?

The Atonement and Repentance are truly beautiful if you think about it. Christ will forgive and forget all of our wrongdoings if we will repent and try to become better. He won't hold anything against us! If only it were that easy for us to do to others in this life.

I took a few minutes to think up some things that go hand-in-hand with what the repentance process should be:

R-Renewal of our covenants
E-Error (correcting them)
P-Penitence
E-Edified
N-Not repeating action(s)
T-Tribulation
A-Asking forgiveness
N-kNeeling down in humble prayer
C-Coming closer to Christ
E-at Ease

Try to live each day so that you can do/feel each one of these. I promise you'll be happier if you stop and fix yourself and whatever problem(s) you might be having. Become At One with God.

The church is true.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Day 78 -- Patience is a Virtue

Day 78:
GET BACK ON SCHEDULE DAY!
-Make sure you are caught up through 3 Nephi 8

OR

If you're up-to-date take time to study Helaman 13.

Something to think about: What did Samuel the Lamanite preach to the wicked Nephites before the Savior came? What are modern prophets teaching us as we prepare for Christ's second coming?

I read a talk tonight given by President Uchtdorf on Patience. He says, "The lessons we learn from patience will cultivate our character, lift our lives, and heighten our happiness."

He also says, "Patience—the ability to put our desires on hold for a time—is a precious and rare virtue. We want what we want, and we want it now. Therefore, the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter. Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace."

With that in mind, we must know that patience isn't just waiting. There's more to it! "Patience requires actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results don’t appear instantly or without effort. There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

When we are impatient, that is a form of selfishness. "It is a trait of the self-absorbed. It arises from the all-too-prevalent condition called “center of the universe” syndrome, which leads people to believe that the world revolves around them and that all others are just supporting cast in the grand theater of mortality in which only they have the starring role."

Does that sound very Christ-like to you? I don't think so.
Let us all try to be more patient with one another.....and not have short fuses. Let us be more Christ-like :)