"If you had a friend that treated you the way you treat yourself and said the things you say about yourself, how long would you stay friends with them?"

How do we view ourselves?

How does God view us?


For many people, these two answers are different.  We need to learn to love ourselves, because we are who we are, and that is who we will stay! :)

Just think:  what if someone close to you (let's say, your mother) decided to make you a quilt.  And let's also say that she's not a very good sewer-seamstress lady (or whatever you wanna call them!), but she does her best and over the course of a few months and getting some help from a few neighbor ladies, she makes you a beautiful quilt.

You can tell that she is so proud of her work and how the quilt turned out, and you know just how excited she is to give it to you to take with you down to your first year at college.

You got all that pictured in your head?

Okay.....so as you have already guessed, this happened to me.  My mother (who doesn't sew) decided she loved me enough to make me a quilt to take down to college to use as my bed spread :)  She worked many hours on it and got some helpful hints from different ladies in our ward.  It was a stressful project for her!  But in the end, it was the perfect gift.

She finished the strips! Now to sew them together :)

Continuing on with my first story however, let's say that on the other hand, unlike me, you didn't like the quilt that was made for you.  When your mother gave it to you--despite knowing her excitement about it--you picked it apart saying things like, "It's too bright.", "I thought it was going to be bigger.", "I don't like the way you did this part."......etc. etc. etc.  Basically, you completely found fault with almost every thing about it.  You could imagine this might break your mother's heart or at least make her very, very sad.  After all the love and time she put into it, if you just pulled it apart critiquing in and not even saying anything good about it, I could image she would be sad!

I'd like to compare this to how God feels about us, when we continue to tear ourselves apart each day saying things like, "I'm fat."  "I wish I could look like him/her."  "Why can't I be prettier?"  "What's wrong with me?" "I'm so ugly." "I wish I had darker skin." "I wish my eyes were blue." (I think you get the point I'm trying to make.)  

God made each of us, His children, so unique and beautiful.  He loves each of us. It makes Him sad when we are not grateful for the gift He so graciously gave us: our body.  He wants us to be happy and be grateful for that gift. We need to take care of and love our body because it's the only real place we (our spirits) have to live! 

I am guilty of not always being grateful for the beautiful Daughter of God I was made to be.  I need to work on it.  I hope all of us will do just that: work to love ourselves for who we are.  Just like I loved the beautiful quilt my mama made for me, I need to love the beautiful body I was given to house my spirit on this earth.

August 2010: With my new quilt before heading down to SUU

The Book of Kelsie

People say I am easy to read........Apparently I'm a book, not a human?


.....Now, this can be good, but this can also be to my disadvantage.

Sometimes, I don't want people to know how I feel.  I want to seem strong, even when I really am not.

I want to keep certain things to myself so others don't worry.

And I want to put on a happy face for those who might need it.
   But
                                           sometimes that is hard.

  

And I'm not always the best at it.
             That is why I am not currently a theater major,
             nor will I ever be...... but that is beside the point.

             I don't want my emotions on my sleeve for the world to see.

And yet, people see through me. 

Being the kind of person I am, that is really hard.  I am capable of caring for and loving people so easily; it comes naturally to me. So on top of me being an easy person to read, this basically makes me pretty vulnerable. 

 But y'all wanna know something? I  am   blessed.  So  blessed.

In the end, nothing else will matter.

So I should just stop with my little pity party right now and just go enjoy life. 

Move on.

Take it a day at a time.

Even though certain situations in life are super tough:

I will never stop LIVING, 

       I will never stop LAUGHING,

            And I will most definitely never stop LOVING.

No matter what situation I may be in.

Embracing life.

Ohh my goodness. Life.


Life has so much to offer.  I'm learning more and more every day, not only about life in general, but about myself.   I love that!  Even though I've known myself for 20 years and some odd months now, I am capable of learning more about myself every day.  Interesting thought, right?

Well, I'm not exactly sure what I really want to blog about today....I just know that I felt like blogging (probably 'cuz I am procrastinating packing and such as long as I possibly can. Bleh.).  But really..blogging is fun! :)

So I'm blogging about life as my title suggests.... Where am I at in life right now?  Currently I am living at home with my family while working not one, not two, not even three, but four jobs.  The cool thing?  I may have four jobs, but I don't work a day in my life. I LOVE what I do.  And the people I come in contact with have become oh so dear to me.   Seriously.  Three of my four "jobs" are home health jobs.  I go into people's homes and care for their daily needs--things that may seem simple to us, but these people aren't capable of doing.  It really has made me grateful for where I am at. I have met some very amazing people who have been through a lot. Frankly, more than a person should deal with in one lifetime. Sometimes I get really sad for them, but then I remember: hey! They are not going to be this way forever.  One day, they are going to be perfect again.  This life is short in relation to eternity :)

While we're on a similar topic, I wanted to share a great video with y'all.  The song is entitled "Beautiful Heartbreak."  It's by a wonderful LDS artist, Hilary Weeks. Basically the message of the song is even though we go through some heartbreaking things in our lives, they can become something beautiful if we allow them to.  We can become stronger through the trials we face. So the video is below, and I'm also gonna post the lyrics so you can read it if you'd like.

BEAUTIFUL HEARTBREAK:

I had it all mapped out in front of me, 

Knew just where I wanted to go; 

But life decided to change my plans, 

And I found a mountain in the middle of my road. 

I knew there was no way over it, 

So I searched for a way around; 

Brokenhearted I started climbin', 

And at the top I found... 

Every fear, every doubt, 

All the pain I went through; 

Was the price that I paid to see this view; 

And now that I'm here I would never trade... 

The grace that I feel, 

And the faith that I find; 

Through the bitter-sweet tears, 

And the sleepless nights; 

I used to pray he'd take it all away, 

But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak. 

I never dreamed my heart would make it, 

I thought about turning around; 

But heaven has shown me miracles, 

I never would have seen from the ground. 

Now I take the rain with the sunshine, 

Cause there's one thing that I know; 

He picks up the pieces, 

Along each broken road. 

Every fear, every doubt, 

All the pain I went through; 

Was the price that I paid to see this view; 

And now that I'm here I would never trade... 

The grace that I feel, 

And the faith that I find; 

Through the bitter-sweet tears, 

And the sleepless nights. 

I used to pray he'd take it all away, 

But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak. 

I would never trade... 

The grace that I feel, 

And the faith that I find; 

Through the bitter-sweet tears, 

And the sleepless nights. 

I used to pray he'd take it all away, 

But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

Isn't that such an inspiring song? I sure think so!

I don't know who knew this, but my family and I had the fabulous opportunity to go to Hilary's home for dinner and a private concert in her basement last Friday.  Can I just say, she's not only an amazing singer-songwriter, but she is an amazing person, too! She was so welcoming and so kind to everyone in attendance; I felt like I'd known her for ages!  That night was actually the first time I've heard her song "Beautiful Heartbreak", or at least first time seeing the music video. She sang it live while the video played on screen behind her.  Oh man.  It was a touching moment.  I'm so very grateful for the wonderful talents of people, and their willingness to share and touch the lives of others.  Uplifting music really is so great! It always helps lift my mood and brings the spirit in a way I don't think anything else can.  If you've never heard of Hilary Weeks before, I highly suggest you look up more of her stuff--it's all amazing!

So, I don't exactly know how I got from talking about life to talking about uplifting music.....random tangent I guess..  But the point is: life is good.  Life is even great! It's all in the attitude in which we carry ourselves.  And when life gets tough, and we feel we have mountains to climb, we have been given other human beings to lean on for support as well as a loving Father in Heaven who cares.  

I hope each of you will never take for granted the little things in life, even as simple as getting out of bed in the morning on your own, or playing your guitar.  Life is as beautiful as you make it out to be....so let's create a masterpiece. 

The Road to Eternity

Today was a day full of emotion.

- - - -But it was a wonderful day to say the least!

To start off: one of my bestest best friends got married this morning! So, my friend McKenzi and I got up early and headed up to the beautiful Salt Lake Temple to greet the newlyweds (Steve and Kath) as they came out.  They are so happy, which makes me happy :)  When I first saw Kath and how beautiful she looked, and the glow she had about her--the waterworks show decided to go off; yes, I'm a baby.  It was a fun afternoon though.  Cynthia (Katherine's mom) asked Kenz and I to stay with the bride and groom as they got the rest of their pictures and make sure they made it to their luncheon okay. So we spent a good hour+ helping out with the bouquet, veil, dress, picture positioning, lighting-control, etc.  Man, it was suuuper hot outside but well worth it. Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Fortney! (whoa, weird.)  Here are some pictures from their Big Day:

After she became Mrs. Fortney :)

Katherine and her gorgeous little sisters

It was such a beautiful day! 

After arriving back to my humble abode after the wedding, I got ready and headed over to pick up my paycheck (Yay for Pay Day Friday!!!) and then took a 35 minute drive to visit my friend Rachel, who I mentioned in my post before this one (titled "No Regrets").  It was so good to see her.  Can I just tell you: she is one strong and brave chicka. You wouldn't even know anything was up (other than the fact she seems exhausted, poor thing) because she remains so positive and faithful.  She really does amaze me, though. She's a fighter! She told me she was telling her doctor that she IS going to be running track in the spring, even if she walks the 400m. What a trouper ;)

It was a pretty neat experience for me all around to be able to go and spend some time with her.  When I first got there, her parents were actually outside visiting with a couple people, but I was immediately greeted with warm hugs and welcoming.  I have never met Rachel's mother, but she is a gem :) When she saw me walking up the the house, she gave me the biggest hug and thanked me for coming and for my blog post I wrote about Rachel the other night. (I think Rachel showed her, so that's how she recognized me.) She said she and Rachel read my post and just cried together, saying it was so sweet and thoughtful. I am grateful that something so small on my part could mean so much to someone else.  It's the little things that count!

Rachel and I talked for a good, long while. One of the things I asked her was what she was most afraid of. She said just not knowing what is going to happen, or if she'd survive long enough to complete things she wants to accomplish in her life. (If she doesn't survive through this treatment, the doctors give her a year or so :( ) She leave this upcoming Sunday to go out to Tennessee where she has chemo and radiation treatment at St. Judes.  Her situation is different than most; for the type of cancer she has, 75% of the patients who have it are little boys. Well, she's a 17-year old girl, AND a twin.  Primary Children's told her they currently have 3 patients that have survived what she has....so it's pretty nerve-wracking. Like I mentioned before: keep Rach and her family in your prayers. I know it means so much!

Here is a picture of us right before I left:

Isn't she soooo beautiful?! :) 

I'm glad I got to see ya today, Rach! Good luck with the treatment and keep that positive attitude! I'll be looking forward to watching you during track season.  Again, if you'd like to follow Rachel and her progress, check out her blog at:  http://rachelstratton.blogspot.com/ 

One last thing that I was thinking today after attending my friend's wedding; families are FOREVER. Steven and Katherine just made an eternal covenant today in the temple. They have each other (and their future kids) forever! In my mind, it's a comfort to have this knowledge of eternal families. Even though Rachel is going through this hard trial, she will have her family forever just like they will have her forever. There's a quote that is hanging up on the wall of my kitchen that I love: "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all."  Just something to think about.

So tonight was Katherine and Steven's reception at the Springville Museum of Art. It was just splendid :)  Aaaaand, I caught the bouquet.  (Not that that means anything, haha).

Surprisingly, it was a lot harder to "give her up" than I thought.  Things are going to be so different now, but I know it's for the better, and that her life she is starting with Steven is the beginning of something beautiful. Her life is just moving forward, and that is okay! My time will come.....but until then, I will just enjoy being me and doing the things I want! :P

Well, it's been a long day and I have to be up at 5:00 AM for work tomorrow morning, so I best be peacing out! Toodles!

No regrets.

I just wanted to take the time to write and say: don't take life for granted. Ever. 

You never know how fast it's going to change.

Why do I say this?
Recently I just found out that a beautiful, sweet girl I know from my high school cross country and track days has brain cancer.  It honestly broke my heart when I found out.

I ache for her.
I cried upon finding out this heart-wrenching news.

I wish there was something I could do to make her better.

You wanna know the amazing thing though? She is so strong, so brave, so upbeat and positive.

She has the knowledge that her Heavenly Father has a plan for her, and that He will be watching over her through the whole process.  That alone is a testimony builder for me;  if someone who is going through a trial as hard as hers, can manage to have the amount of Faith she shows: SO CAN I. 

Basically what I am saying is, live your life each and every day with no regrets. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring. It's scary to think about, really. One day we may be fine and dandy- the next, not-so-much. 

Please keep my darling friend, Rachel, in your prayers.  I'm sure she and her family would appreciate all the support; she leaves for a 6-week treatment in Tennessee, on Sunday.  It's her senior year, and no one should have to start it out this way :(

Rachel (back) with teammate and friend, Summer (front)

Love you, Rach.

I'm pulling for you.

For those of you who would like to follow her progress, you can check out her blog at: http://rachelstratton.blogspot.com/