"There's No Place Like Home"

Can I just say how very ecstatic I am to be home right now?? This break is a MUCH needed one for me, and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Last week was a week from hell--I was stressed and tired beyond belief!-- so naturally I came home and crashed. I actually went to bed by 11:15pm, can you belief it!? Haha yes, Steph. You read that right: 11:15!!!

Basically I don't even really know what I planned on writing about, or what to say, other than I am so uber duber happy to be home!!!!! I haven't been with my family since the beginning of January! The first hug I received was from my mama who saw me coming up the walkway from the window. Man, that was a good hug :)

I guess I also wanna throw in and say that I know that God is real. He lives. Even though He may give us horrible trials in our lives (sometimes ones that we think we can't handle, especially alone), He knows that we CAN get through them. They are for our own good and we become stronger from them, as hard as that may sound. I know there is a God out there who loves us no matter what and He will never ever ever ever ever ever leave us. We just need to develop a solid relationship with Him and let Him know that we are trying our best to live the best life we possibly can; to write the best dang book of life anyone has ever read! We aren't really "home" until we make it back to Him, our Father in Heaven. So strive everyday to "Live your life everyday so that when you wake up in the morning, Satan says, 'Oh no! (S)he's awake!!'" I think Carrie Underwood's song "Temporary Home" says it best, for right now. Take a listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraOiHUltak

"This is my temporary home

It's not where I belong.

Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.

This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going.

I'm not afraid because I know this is my

Temporary Home."

It's in YOUR Hands.

So today in Relief Society, one of my roommates, Kjersti, gave a very good lesson. It was based off of President Uchtdorf's message entitled "Looking for the Good." In it he says:

"Have you ever noticed that people can usually find whatever they are looking for? Look hard enough, and you can discover both good and bad in almost anyone and anything. People have done the same with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since its beginning. Those who look for the good will find a kind and compassionate people—a people who love the Lord and desire to serve Him and bless the lives of their fellowman. But it is also true that those who look for the bad will certainly find things that are not so ideal."

How true this is! I found it kind of ironic that this was this week's lesson, because if you read my last post before this, you will see why I say this. Kjersti asked me in the middle of the week to look for the good in everything that went on during the week for me, even when I was having a hard time, and to try and find something positive about it all. She wanted me to share my experience during her lesson. At first it was really hard because I have been really stressed lately, and nothing seems to be good. Well I was wrong.

I believe that this experience has actually been a learning/growing one for me. After reading my scriptures, praying, and also reading my patriarchal blessing a few times through, I realized that nursing really must be what I need to do. It also really hit when I bore my testimony in sacrament meeting today. I shared my experience that I had with my teacher this past week, and basically (without thinking or knowing it was coming) I flat out said that I realized nursing is what I am supposed to do with my life. I guess that is an answer to my prayers, right? But not only has nursing been a dream of mine, but it just all seems to fit together so nicely! I think this has just been a trial of my faith. I can't do it without Christ. Nobody can. I need to learn to rely on Him more. So what I took from this (and shared in Kjersti's lesson) is what I've already just said, plus the day I get to walk across the stage and receive my diploma--all my hard work paying off--what a great day that will be! You can't get more positive then that! Then I will not only be working to achieve my dream, but actually living my dream!

President Uchtdorf later says, "We have a choice. We can seek for the bad in others. Or we can make peace and work to extend to others the understanding, fairness, and forgiveness we so desperately desire for ourselves. It is our choice; for whatever we seek, that we will certainly find." So I say.....be happy! Look for the good in everything, because, after all, it is in your hands....

Harsh Hints or Fate?

So I've been thinking lately...

I recently went and talked to a teacher of mine about my concerns on some things. I am one who gets stressed out easily and lately, that has been happening a lot. I have a butt load on my plate, and it's been really rough. I told her of the classes I have this semester -- biology, chemistry, chemistry lab, human development, human anatomy, human anatomy lab, circuit weight training, and institute (I am the class president in my class, too). I thought that this would help (talking to her, I mean), but I left there feeling a bit inadequate; not smart enough or that I couldn't handle it all. She basically flat out told me that if I couldn't handle the stress of her class right now, I definitely wouldn't be able to handle all of the stress when I

was in the nursing program (if I even got in; they only accept 20 people each year) and I should possibly even consider switching my major. She also said that if I didn't get an"A" in her class, that I wouldn't have a prayer of being able to get into the program since it is so competitive. So I was just feeling really discouraged. I didn't know whether or not this was a sign of "Hey, this isn't the major for you....you should take the hint and switch," or "Hey, this is just a really rough time in your life right now....a trial of your faith. But you need to learn something from it." I am not one to quit; I am not a quitter. I don't want my dream of becoming a nurse one day to be shot down just because one person told me "You can't." I'm stronger than that. I just need to turn to my Heavenly Father and figure out what the rest of my unwritten story is all about. I have a friend who actually made up a quote, but it really stood out to me and I really like it: "Our parents are the authors of our bodies. God is the author of our spirits. But WE are the authors of our lives. Write an award winning novel." And I want to love the

story I write. I want to live an "award winning" life! Overcoming trials makes for an interesting story, right?

Stressed Ramblings.

So I haven't posted in the longest time....I know I know!

Today I just wanted to write for the heck of it. I wanted to say that college is a LOT harder than I thought--this semester is really stressing me out. I want to just say that I'm very grateful I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, because if I weren't, I think I would already be dead by now. I'm grateful that I'm a member because I know that I can feel comfort through reading scriptures, praying, going to church and such when I feel stressed like I do all the time these days. I guess that is all I really wanted to say was that I am truly blessed and truly thankful, even in these rough times. I know that once I jump this hurdle I will be most happy! It will be worth it in the end! Nurse Kelsie, here I come! :)

Bingo and Santa

Wow. So I haven't written in a while! But here I am now for a few :)

Today was a very good day! Well, I woke up to 2 feet of sparkly

white snow (so now we're hoping it stays so we can have a 'White Christmas') and it was just beautiful! And also a very sweet neighbor kid came and shoveled our walks because Jonah isn't able to from his collar bone injury/surgery. He touched my heart with his generosity. But on days like these I'd rather just stay inside and not have to drive anywhere. I'm one who absolutely does not like driving in such dire conditions; slick roads just scare me.... Today I had a pretty good reason to want to go out, though:

When I went off to college to SUU, I had to quit my CNA job at Hobble Creek Rehab and Nursing. Obviously Cedar City (being a 3 hour drive) is too far for me to commute to work :P Therefore quitting was necessary. I was pretty sad though. I would miss my residents, my friends. I was excited to have a whole month off for Christmas break, however. I asked if during that time of being home if I would be able to get my job back, temporarily to work and earn some money over the break.

Well, about a month or so ago, I got an email from my mom informing that she had just found out that they were going to be tearing my nursing home down to rebuild so they had moved my residents to 2 different places :( This was sad news: I realized that I might not be able to get a job anymore as well. They had to lay a few aids off, so why would they hire me? I was right, but still talked to them and filled out an application with them as well as with another nursing home in Payson.

Well I've entered the 2nd week of my break and I still hadn't heard anythi

ng from either. I'm really desperate for a job and something to do during the day so I have been babysitting 3 times already and was even asking to help at the UPS Store (if they needed me, which they didn't). But Lo and Behold! Today I got a call from the lady I used to work for. When I saw her name pop up on my phone there was a little hope! The reason I hadn't heard from her was because she had just had a major hip replacement and today was her first day back to work. She knew I needed a job and she needed temporary help as well.

Basically the recreational therapist woman, Jessica, found a job elsewhere and today was her last day. Melanie (my boss) was calling to see if I would mind filling in until they could find someone else to replace her. So basically, instead of being a CNA again, I am going to help with games and activities and entertainment for the residents! I get to see and be with my residents (plus about 20 new ones I am meeting) without having to do the grungy work! :D I'm so so excited!

Today was great; since Christmas is coming fast, I wrapped presents from "Santa" for the residents that people had brought in so they could have a Christmas. I also (with the help of Jessica) played Bingo with them, and gave little chocolate candies for prizes! I also got to see some of my favorite residents (I know, I know I shouldn't pick favorites....but sometimes you can't help it!) and one in particular, actually remembered who I was after months of not seeing her! I was surprised cuz normally she wouldn't remember people! So that made me happy :)

I am excited to FINALLY have a job, which will give me something productive to do during the day. And it will be good because it's not a worthless job serving food at a fast food place, but rather working with people who really need the love and attention. And I'm most happy to be giving it!

I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas, and remember the TRUE meaning, giving of yourself selflessly.

--Kelsie